What would your relationship therapist suggest you read?
If you are interested in reading a book to enhance your relationships then perhaps one of these 23 titles from the library of Mukti Jarvis of Every Day Love will be ideal – have a read through the descriptions and you can purchase direct from us here if you decide you want to have your own copy.
Boundaries – Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend
“The mini-size edition of this inspiring Zondervan title has sold nearly 1 million copies.
The Gold Medallion award-winning Christian book, by two psychologists who’ve written a number of self-help guides, offers a realistic, compassionate plan for setting healthy boundaries with family, friends, and co-workers.
If you’ve ever wondered: Can I set limits and still be a loving person How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries Unpacking the 10 laws of boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend give you biblically based answers to these and other tough questions, and show you how to set healthy boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, coworkers, and even with yourself.
In Boundaries, Drs. Cloud and Townsend show you how to bring new health to your relationships. You’ll discover firsthand how to reclaim your freedom to walk as the loving, giving, fulfilled individual God created you to be.”
The Almost Perfect Marriage – Stephanie Dowrick
“Aimed at readers who are short on time, this relationship guide from the author of Choosing Happiness offers quick moments of clarity and practical insight that will make a difference to any committed relationship.
In this wise and beautiful book, a foremost self-help author gently and confidently leads readers towards the attitudes and actions that will best support a genuinely loving intimate relationship—even with the extreme demands of contemporary life.The principles of good humor, kindness, and thoughtfulness are explored as the keys to genuinely rewarding and robust relationships.
Combining inspiration with information, each page is a distinct “thought,” most of them short enough to be read very quickly, yet with sufficient depth to bring people back to a more loving and generous frame of mind. This guide is suitable for people in all kinds of committed intimate relationships, and for people at all stages of their relationships from the newly committed to those who have been together for years.”
Anger, Guilt and Shame – Liv Larsson
“This book can help you make shame, guilt and anger your allies instead of our enemies. They can become keys to your inner life and to your dreams.
Getting to know these feelings will help you better meet your needs for respect, acceptance, belonging and freedom.
What would be possible if you no longer needed to shrink yourself to avoid shame or guilt?”
Attached – Dr Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
” ‘A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship.’
–John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.
Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
- Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back
• Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
• Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.”
Conscious Loving – Gay Hendricks & Kathlyn Hendricks
“Here is a powerful new program that can clear away the unconscious agreements patterns that undermine even your best intentions.
Through their own marriage and through twenty years’ experience counseling more than one thousand couples, therapists Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have developed precise strategies to help you create a vital partnership and enhance the energy, creativity, and happiness of each individual.
You will learn how to: Let go of power struggles and need for control; Balance needs for closeness and separateness; Increase intimacy by telling the “microscopic truth”; Communicate in a positive way that stops arguments; Make agreements you can keep; Allow more pleasure into your life.
Addressed to individuals as well as to couples, “Conscious Loving” will heal old hurts and deepen your capacity for enjoyment, security, and enduing love.”
Consolations – David Whyte
With the imagery of a poet and the reflection of a philosopher, David Whyte turns his attention to 52 ordinary words, each its own particular doorway into the underlying currents of human life.
Beginning with Alone and closing with Work, each chapter is a meditation on meaning and context, an invitation to shift and broaden our perspectives on the inevitable vicissitudes of life: pain and joy, honesty and anger, confession and vulnerability, the experience of feeling besieged and the desire to run away from it all. Through this lens, procrastination may be a necessary ripening; hiding an act of freedom; and shyness the appropriate confusion and helplessness that accompanies the first stage of revelation.
Consolations invites readers into a poetic and thoughtful consideration of words whose meaning and interpretation influence the paths we choose and the way we traverse them throughout our lives
The Dance of Anger – Harriet Lerner
“The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships.
Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception.
“Anger is a signal and one worth listening to,” writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless
and powerless.
In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.
The Dance of Intimacy – Harriet Lerner
“In “The Dance of Intimacy, ” the bestselling author of “The Dance of Anger” outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed.
Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged–by distance, intensity, or pain–she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others.
Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.”
Difficult Mothers – Terri Apter
“Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond.
She showcases the five different types of difficult mother – the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother – and explains the patterns of behavior seen in each type. Apter also explores the dilemma at the heart of a difficult relationship: why a mother has such a powerful impact on us and why we continue to care about her responses long after we have outgrown our dependence. She then shows how we can conduct an ’emotional audit’ on ourselves to overcome the power of the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts.
In the end this book celebrates the great resilience of sons and daughters of difficult mothers as well as acknowledging their special challenges. ”
Facing Love Addiction – Pia Mellody
“The author of the bestselling Facing Codependence unravels the intricate dynamics of toxic love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love.
In this revised and updated edition of Facing Love Addiction, internationally recognised dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody clearly outlines the debilitating ′toxic′ patterns played out by love addicts and the unresponsive love avoidants to whom they are painfully and repeatedly drawn.”
Hold Me Tight – Dr Sue Johnson
“Developed by Dr Sue Johnson over 20 years ago and practised all over the world, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has been heralded by Time magazine and the New York Times as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success. Couples who use EFT see a 75 per cent success rate.
The therapy program focuses on the emotional connection of every relationship by de-escalating conflict, creating a safe emotional connection, and strengthening bonds between partners.
In Hold Me Tight, EFT pioneer Dr Sue Johnson presents her highly effective therapy model to the general public for the first time. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.”
Home Coming – John Bradshaw
“Are you outwardly successful but inwardly do you feel like a big kid? Do you aspire to be a loving parent but all too often “lose it” in hurtful ways? Do you crave intimacy but sometimes wonder if it’s worth the struggle? Or are you plagued by constant vague feelings of anxiety or depression?
If any of this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing the hidden but damaging effects of a painful childhood–carrying within you a “wounded inner child” that is crying out for attention and healing.
In this powerful book, John Bradshaw shows how we can learn to nurture that inner child, in essence offering ourselves the good parenting we needed and longed for. Through a step-by-step process of exploring the unfinished business of each developmental stage, we can break away from destructive family rules and roles and free ourselves to live responsibly in the present. Then, says Bradshaw, the healed inner child becomes a source of vitality, enabling us to find new joy and energy in living.
Homecoming includes a wealth of unique case histories and interactive techniques, including questionnaires, letter-writing to the inner child, guided meditations, and affirmations. Pioneering when introduced, these classic therapies are now being validated by new discoveries in attachment research and neuroscience. No one has ever brought them to a popular audience more effectively and inspiringly than John Bradshaw.”
The Intimacy Factor – Pia Mellody
In her first book in over 10 years, Pia Mellody–author of the ground-breaking bestsellers” Facing Codependence “and “Facing Love Addiction”–shares her profound wisdom on what it takes to sustain true intimacy and trusting love in our most vital relationships.
Drawing on more than 20 years’ experience as a counsellor at the renowned Meadows Treatment Centre in Arizona, Mellody now shares what she has learned about why intimate relationships falter–and what makes them work. Using the most up-to-date research and real-life examples, including her own compelling personal journey, Mellody provides readers with profoundly insightful and practical ground rules for relationships that achieve and maintain joyous intimacy.
This invaluable resource helps diagnose the causes of faulty relationships–many of them rooted in childhood–and provides tools for readers to heal themselves, enabling them to establish and maintain healthy relationships.
The Man’s Guide To Women – John Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman
“A great “philosopher” once said, “Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 9.”
But the fact is, men can understand women to their great benefit. All they need is the right teacher. And arguably there is no better teacher than John Gottman, PhD, a world-renowned relationships researcher and author of the bestselling Principles of Making Marriage Work.
His new book, written with wife Julie Gottman, a clinical psychologist, and Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, is based on 40 years of scientific study, much of it gleaned from the Gottman’s popular couple’s workshops and the “love lab” at the University of Washington. It’s written primarily for men because new research suggests that it is the man in a relationship who wields the most influence to make it great or screw it up beyond repair.
The Man’s Guide to Women offers the science-based answers to the question: What do women really want in a man? The book explains the hallmarks of manhood that most women find attractive, and helps men hone those skills to be the man she desires.”
Peace Is Every Step – Thich Nhat Hanh
“Lucidly and beautifully written, PEACE IS EVERY STEP contains commentaries and meditations, personal anecdotes and stories from Nhat Hanh’s experiences as a peace activist, teacher, and community leader. It begins where the reader already is – in the kitchen, office driving a car, walking in a park – and shows how deep meditative presence is available now.
Nhat Hanh provides exercises to increase our awareness of our own body and mind through conscious breathing, which can bring immediate joy and peace. Nhat Hanh also shows how to be aware of relationships with others and of the world around us, its beauty and also its pollution and injustices. The deceptively simple practices of PEACE IN EVERY STEP encourage the reader to work for peace in the world as he or she continues to work on sustaining inner peace by turning the ‘mindness’ into the mindful.
‘This is a very worthwhile book. It can change individual lives and the life of our society. ‘ H. H. the Dalai Lama.”
The Power Of Humility – Charles Whitfield
“The Power of Humility is a remarkable book that presents profound tools for changing your life in simple, practical steps. . . . It will help us see the solutions that were there all the time, hidden from view by our own habits.”
-Bruce Greyson, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry, University of Virginia School of Medicine Do you shy away from conflict? Do you tend to over- or under-react during disagreements? Is it difficult for you to rise above a painful problem in a relationship?
If so, you’re not alone. We all experience conflict on a daily basis, whether it’s with another person like a coworker or boss, or in a “triangle” with two other people such as in a family relationship. Dealing with strife isn’t easy because most of us don’t clearly understand one of the most critical yet overlooked skills to successful relationships: humility – and how to best express it.
From four of America’s top experts on emotional healing, spirituality and recovery, comes a new approach to solving the conflicts that cause us both physical and emotional stress. Bestselling author Charles Whitfield and three leading experts explain that having humility doesn’t mean being a doormat or turning the other cheek – it’s about being authentic, open and understanding.
Using case studies, cutting-edge clinical research and compelling narrative, they show you how to harness the power of humility in your own life–at home, at work and in your community. By doing so, you will be able to speak your mind, get things accomplished more harmoniously and feel more satisfied with yourself and your relationships.
Let The Power of Humility show you how to have peace in your life.”
The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle
“Eckhart Tolle is emerging as one of today’s most inspiring teachers. In The Power of Now, a #1 national bestseller, the author describes his transition from despair to self-realization soon after his 29th birthday.
Tolle took another ten years to understand this transformation, during which time he evolved a philosophy that has parallels in Buddhism, relaxation techniques, and meditation theory but is also eminently practical.
In The Power of Now he shows readers how to recognize themselves as the creators of their own pain, and how to have a pain-free existence by living fully in the present.
Accessing the deepest self, the true self, can be learned, he says, by freeing ourselves from the conflicting, unreasonable demands of the mind and living present, fully, and intensely, in the Now.”
Stillness Speaks – Eckhart Tolle
“In Stillness Speaks, best-selling author Eckhart Tolle illuminates the fundamental elements of his teaching, addressing the needs of the modern seeker by drawing from all spiritual traditions.
At the core of the book is what the author calls “the state of presence,” a living in the “now” that is both intensely inspirational and practical.
When the pressures of future and past thinking disappear, fear and frustration also vanish, conquered by the moment. Stillness Speaks takes the form of 200 individual entries, organized into 10 topic clusters that range from “Beyond the Thinking Mind” to “Suffering and the End of Suffering.” The entries are concise and complete in themselves, but, read together, take on a transformative power.”
Undefended Love – Jett Psaris & Marlena Lyons
“The Way That You Felt about Yourself when you First Fell in Love is the Way You Can Feel all the Time.
This eloquent and life-altering book offers readers a new and proven way to cut through personal differences with their partners and reach that direct, unmediated, heart-to-heart connection that can only occur when the heart is undefended.
This book precisely maps a unique journey that turns the problems and conflicts that inevitably arise in relationships into opportunities for deeper connection. Illuminating case studies, guided self-inquiries, and challenging exercises help you discover how to engage your partner in a deeper dialogue and find ways of expressing the most profound and untamed aspects of your nature. ”
This Is Me Letting Go – Heidi Priebe
“This is a fabulous book for anyone who hasn’t yet let go. Everyone who thinks they have failed, been cheated on, wants to be alone, is struggling with forgiveness etc not just in terms of relationship.” Mukti Jarvis.
“Letting go is not a process that comes naturally to us. In a world that teaches us to cling to what we love at all costs, there is an undeniable art to moving on – and it’s one that we are constantly relearning.
In this series of honest and poignant essays, Heidi Priebe explores the harsh reality of what it means to let go of the people and situations we love most – often before we are ready to – and how to embrace what comes next.” Booktopia
The Untethered Soul – Michael A. Singer
The Journey Beyond Yourself
“Who are you? When you start to explore this question, you find out how elusive it really is. Are you a physical body? A collection of experiences and memories? A partner in a relationship? Each time you consider these aspects of yourself, you realize that there is much more to you than any of these can define.
In”The Untethered Soul”spiritual teacher Michael Singer explores the question of who we are and arrives at the conclusion that our identity is to be found in our consciousness, the fact of our ability to observe ourselves, and the world around us.
By tapping into traditions of meditation and mindfulness, Singer shows how the development of consciousness can enable us all to dwell in the present moment and let go of painful thoughts and memories that keep us from achieving happiness and self-realization. This book offers a frank and friendly discussion of consciousness and how we can develop it. In part one, he examines the notion of self and the inner dialogue we all live with. Part two examines the experience of energy as it flows through us and works to show readers how to open their hearts to the energy of experience that permeates their lives. Ways to overcome tendencies to close down to the rest of the world are the subject of part three. Enlightenment, the embrace of universal consciousness, is the subject of part four. And finally, in part five, Singer returns to daily life and the pursuit of unconditional happiness.
Throughout, the book maintains a light and engaging tone, free from heavy dogma and prescriptive religious references. The easy exercises that figure in each chapter help readers experience the ideas that Singer presents. Visit untetheredsoul.com for more information.”
Wired for Love – Stan Tatkin
How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain Can Help You Defuse Conflicts and Spark Intimacy.
“ “What the heck is my partner thinking?” is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.
Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding a partner’s brain and promoting love and trust within a romantic relationship. Readers learn ten scientific principles they can use to avoid triggering fear and panic in their partners, manage their partners’ emotional reactions when they do become upset, and recognize when the brain’s threat response is hindering their ability to act in a loving way.
By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain” understanding of the relationship.
Based in the sound science of neurobiology, attachment theory, and emotion regulation research, this book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.”
Wired For Dating – Stan Tatkin
How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
“In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favour? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate.
Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they’re doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin – author of Wired for Love – offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship.
Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.
If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.”
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Jane Macnaught
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*Please note that this blog post is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not an endorsement of the books. We have created links to the Australian owned online bookstore BOOKTOPIA, and if you purchase with these links the website owner Tranquillo Place will be paid a nominal affiliate fee. We hope you enjoy reading these books.
